Wife At The Well

Finding out that my Husband wanted to divorce me; I remember that night like it was yesterday.  How I cried and cried like my world was coming to an end. I literally felt that it couldn’t go on if there was no love from him.  What kind of cruel world could hold my existence without his love? Our marriage was the first time I had experienced a love so deep that I felt like I could die tomorrow a happy woman knowing that I had thoroughly loved and had been known and completely loved-or so I thought. "But I can't live without him!!!"  This was the exact sentence I cried out to The Lord.  Even now, remembering the emotion tied into those words brings tears to my eyes and a lump in my throat.  I had all kind of crazy thoughts going through my head at that moment.  My gun was actually within arms reach in my bedroom.  I can't even bring myself to write out the scenarios that played through my head over and over.  When I look back now, I know it was the ...

I want a divorce. Those were the most devastating words I had ever heard in my life.  And even though I myself had said that sentence in the past plenty of times, I had never actually heard it said to me.  I promised myself that I would never say them again as the pain at hearing them nearly caused my own heart to stop beating.  I could not believe the power those words had.  I could not believe I had wielded that power so recklessly in the past.  Shame on me.  And I really did feel shame.  More than that, I felt a fear like I have never experienced in my entire life.  As the fear began to choke the reasoning and the logic from my mind, I had one response in my head. “But I can’t live without him!” That thought reverberated through my mind and my psyche as if it was actual Scripture.  It was as if it were an undeniable truth.  And in my mind, it was. So began my journey through the process of divorce.  I went to my bed and threw mys...

I have prayed nonstop and cried nonstop now for a month straight. I cannot eat dinner or watch TV or even consume desserts. Nothing satisfies me. My tears Glue my swollen eyelids shut each night. Everyone has given up hope. All have accepted the pending divorce except for me. I have begun to vow to Lord again, that if He will fix it this last time, that if He will save my marriage, that if He will change the heart of my husband and draw him back to Himself, then I will make sure no woman going through this will ever have to search as hard as I have for confirmation that God can do it. I will do blogs, videos, and books dedicated to giving Him the Glory for blocking the divorce and regulating the mind of my husband. I will own up to the part I played in it all as well. Because at the end of the day, I want God to be glorified in my testimony because if He gives me a powerful testimony out of this, it will all be worth it. Every tear I shed and every pound I’ve lost will all be worth it....